Domestic violence

Domestic abuse involves an individual of either sex behaving violently towards their partner or spouse. It does not exclusively involve violence directed by men towards women; many women are violent towards men, and abuse also occurs in same-sex relationships. The violence may involve physical, sexual or emotional abuse, threats, intimidation, aggressive behaviour, stalking and other more subtle forms of abuse. It is believed that only one third of the actual cases of intimate partner abuse in the UK are reported. 

What are the symptoms of domestic violence

 As well as the more obvious acts of abuse, such as kicking, punching or throwing things, other typical symptoms include excessive control (for example if your partner tracks all your activities, monitors your phone calls, etc.) or being constantly demeaned by critical remarks, insults and name-calling.

What are the causes of domestic violence

There seem to be no clear specific causes of domestic violence, but there are some general factors that seem relevant. Unmarried individuals in a heterosexual relationship tend to be more at risk. Female victims often have a male partner who abuses drugs (especially alcohol), is unemployed or under-employed, and has poor educational qualifications.Domestic violence against women tends to be reported more by victims in a relationship with a man who has more conservative religious views than their own. Regular attendance at religious services is apparently associated with lower reported levels of intimate partner abuse. Research shows that those who grew up in a household in which domestic violence took place are more likely to themselves become either perpetrators or victims of partner abuse as adults.

What are the effects of domestic abuse

It can result in bruising and other injuries, which may lead to frequent absence from work. It can also bring about low self-esteem, self-blame, passive-aggressive behaviour, fear of conflict, isolation and personality changes. There may also be stress-related physical symptoms, such as depression, headaches, stomach upsets, sleep problems and skin rashes.

Why do people remain in an abusive relationship

Many victims are afraid to leave their abuser, or even to seek help, in case their abuser finds out and becomes even more violent. Many people rely on their abuser for financial support or are reluctant to split up their family by taking their children with them when they leave. And there are many people who have such strong feelings towards their abuser – despite the violence – that they cannot imagine life without them. Someone in a same-sex relationship may be unwilling to seek help if they don't want to disclose their sexual orientation.

When is it right to seek help

The longer someone stays in an abusive relationship, the greater is the toll on their confidence and self-esteem. They may become depressed and anxious. They may begin to doubt their ability to care for themselves, or wonder if the abuse is their fault. They may feel helpless or paralysed. But whatever factors deter someone, the only way to break the cycle of domestic violence is to take action – and the sooner the better. It’s best for the abused person to start by telling someone about the abuse, whether it's a friend, relative, doctor or other close contact. At first, they may find it hard to talk about the abuse, but they will feel relieved that the subject is out in the open and being discussed. 

What help is available

 Victims of domestic abuse are not alone. Support, information and advice are available for anyone thinking about leaving a situation of domestic abuse or contacting the police, and there are many organisations that can help. The first step is to talk – in confidence – to one of our experts, and then consider the available options before making any decisions.