The significance of relationship

Relationships are a significant part of our lives. They are integral to everything we do, and for many people form the most important part of their lives. As we grow, our relationships teach us how to develop a fully rounded and mature personality. We form relationships with most of the people we come into frequent contact with, and unlike memories, many of which fade with time, our relationships are rarely forgotten. They offer love, support, friendship, advice and guidance. Some people find that they form a bond with another person that makes them extremely happy and lasts a lifetime.
For most of us, relationships are a good thing and we benefit considerably from them; but they can sometimes be demanding and upsetting.

Relationships are often challenging

It’s not unusual for people to constantly make mistakes in relationships, because they simply don’t understand how to properly maintain a relationship. We are not taught how to manage relationships at school – we learn the skills by practising them, and we only understand through experience what it takes to be successful in a relationship. So early relationships (especially with a partner) often fail, due to inexperience in building and maintaining a relationship.

Why do relationship issues occur

Most people experience problems at times in their various relationships with friends, lovers, family members and even colleagues. Because there are always ups and downs in close relationships, many people find that it’s sometimes difficult to get on well with their lover. In a long-term relationship it’s easy to forget that the seemingly innocent choices we make and things we say can easily affect the balance and stability of a relationship. Every relationship has its own history, and everyone is different and reacts differently to situations or emotions.

Infidelity is often the cause of a relationship problem, and frequent arguments can also build a barrier between partners. Over time people develop and mature at different rates, so that can lead to growing apart.

A new baby can cause stress within a couple, because when the female transfers her affections to the newborn infant, the male may find it difficult to adjust to the changes in the relationship.

Personal issues may affect relationships

Personal issues can make people feel depressed, confused and even distressed, and these feelings often have an impact on relationships. Typical serious personal issues involve:
• Abortion
• Abuse
• Addiction
• Bereavement
• Career choices
• Debt management
• Mental health
• Sexuality

What factors help to maintain a relationship

A relationship with a lover is often the hardest type to stay in, and there are certain factors that must be present in order for such a relationship to succeed indefinitely:
• Each partner should ensure that the relationship is a priority
• Both partners should be committed to preventing arguments
• The relationship must be free from abuse
• It must be possible to resolve differences without intimidation or threats to leave
• Neither partner should feel they are being forced to stay in the relationship
• Each partner should feel protected by, and special to, the other
• Each partner should have unconditional love for the other
• There should be an open and fulfilling sexual relationship
• There should be honest communication between both individuals
• It must be possible to share and respect feelings and needs
• Both individuals must feel comfortable and free to express themselves
• Each partner should be prepared to listen to the views of the other

What support is available for relationship issues

It may be helpful to get support from family or friends if you're having a tough time coping with personal issues that are affecting a relationship. Simply talking over your problems can help you find ways to deal with them, or make them seem less serious. But if support and advice from family or friends doesn’t work, it’s best to seek professional help from a counsellor.